The Arguments Against Same-Sex Marriage

I was intending to go a day without posting on the topic of same-sex marriage, but this article on CNN changed my mind. Sadly, that link is now stale, but I’ve quoted relevant bits below. So much for not writing about same-sex marriage today. Maybe tomorrow.

Ok, back to the CNN article. It’s important because it quotes some of the arguments against allowing same-sex marriage. Let’s look at them and
see what they say.

“Many of us have said that the ramifications of these decisions won’t be known for a decade or two, when we can see the impact on children who are taught that either a mom is not necessary or a dad is not necessary,” said Ron Crews, the lead crusader against gay marriage in Massachusetts, who unsuccessfully ran for congress this fall.

This is the “we’re protecting our children argument”. Except that they are not protecting their own children. They are keeping other couples from
protecting their own. And we needn’t wait a decade or two. This article references a recently published study that concludes:

The authors said the results “provide no justification for limitations on child custody or visitation by lesbian mothers” and “do not support the idea that lesbian and gay adults are less likely than others to provide good adoptive or foster homes.”

Ok, so that justification is gone.

Now we move into the realm of the odd. At least the people making the argument above claim to be concerned about children. That’s understandable (if it’s not just a cover for different reasons). But this one, well, read on:

“This is affecting me immediately because my children are in conflict. It’s putting my children in turmoil,” said Kris Mineau, leader of the conservative Massachusetts Family Institute. “I’ve always argued that from May 17 onward, my heterosexual marriage was no longer unique, no longer a standard for the culture, and that’s an affront to me and it grieves me.”

Yes, you read that right. Somehow a gay couple getting married has diminished Kris’s own marriage and put Kris’s children in turmoil! The utter absurdity of this is clear but at least one person feels this way. I would love to hear Kris’s ideas on how this is true. It sounds to me like some therapy
might be in order. The only thing I can come up with is that by denying others the rights that you have you make yourself feel better. That’s
just sad.

Here’s one that really burns me up:

Other foes say public school teachers who support gay rights now feel more free to impose their beliefs on students.

Ok, have you ever met a teacher who imposed his or her beliefs on others? When is talking about the real differences among ourselves “imposing
beliefs”? This is another variation on the “protecting our children” argument but even more insidious because it implies that gay teachers
are somehow harming their children.

What is a real issue is some percentage of those children will grow up to be gay. This is reality. It will happen. Do we want those children to grown up in fear or do we want them to understand that it’s ok to be who they are?

If we can’t teach our children about the world and then let them decide what is right and wrong for them then we’ve failed as adults. If we
have to hide and suppress knowledge from some misplaced fear of what that knowledge might do, then we have no trust in our children.

If anyone out there reading this thinks any of those arguments against same-sex marriage sounded pretty good, then please contact me. I would
welcome the chance to discuss it with you.